01.16.18 | awaken
this morning i found an old file in my computer marked “journal”. it was overflowing with the prose and poetry of 2009-2010, the words written were beautiful but veiled by suffocation. as I read, i felt the subtle pings of emotions through memories of my once pointed finger, fueled by past depression. yet, with each page(file) turn, the deeper i found myself holding space for holding self. it was a reminder of immense growth and of a love filled with i, not a bandaid of another or materialism, but a true healing. love i created for me because everything up to that point acted as an addicting arsenic to my soul.
my phoenix bloomed because of the awareness that my sculpture of self no longer resembled me, but a distorted vision chiseled away by insecurities of self-doubt and a drowning of self love. because of this reminder, today, at this very moment, i hold even more space for the understanding that we have a choice to turn towards light along our paths at any moment.
i’m filled with gratitude for the depression i felt years ago, the darkness i once felt awakened a sensitivity, an empathy and a heightened awareness for those around me today. a reminder to trust that every dark hour is there to guide us closer to light. thank you