01.16.18 | awaken

 
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this morning i found an old file in my computer marked “journal”. it was overflowing with the prose and poetry of 2009-2010, the words written were beautiful but veiled by suffocation. as I read, i felt the subtle pings of emotions through memories of my once pointed finger, fueled by past depression. yet, with each page(file) turn, the deeper i found myself holding space for holding self. it was a reminder of immense growth and of a love filled with i, not a bandaid of another or materialism, but a true healing. love i created for me because everything up to that point acted as an addicting arsenic to my soul.
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my phoenix bloomed because of the awareness that my sculpture of self no longer resembled me, but a distorted vision chiseled away by insecurities of self-doubt and a drowning of self love. because of this reminder, today, at this very moment, i hold even more space for the understanding that we have a choice to turn towards light along our paths at any moment.
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i’m filled with gratitude for the depression i felt years ago, the darkness i once felt awakened a sensitivity, an empathy and a heightened awareness for those around me today. a reminder to trust that every dark hour is there to guide us closer to light. thank you

Caitlin CiminoComment